This month, we are excited to recommend “The Company We Keep,” written by our own Parkside pastor, Jonathan Holmes. Jonathan oversees Parkside Church’s counseling ministry and is a campus pastor at Parkside Church Green.

“About a year ago, I had gone to Wisconsin to do a men’s retreat with a friend of mine,” explains Jonathan. “We honed in on the topic of friendships, and specifically, how guys form friendships. I’d done a lot of reading and realized that there are not a lot of people writing about friendship. Then, after the retreat my friend suggested putting the material into a book. I thought, ‘Oh, this will be really easy. I’ll just take five sermons and type them out and those will be the chapters.’ It was a lot harder than that,” laughs Jonathan.

Jonathan began writing shortly after the men’s retreat last October. The process was both rewarding and humbling for him. “The editor sent back the first chapter I sent in last Christmas and [said], Good content, but it lacks reader appeal. Also, guys don’t buy books. You have to write to a female audience because 80% of the books that are being sold are sold to women. I was crushed,” says Jonathan. “I had sent it to a bunch of my friends and I thought I was turning in my best work. I mean, the first chapter doesn’t even look like my first draft.”

Despite the slow start, Jonathan’s book, which was published in September, has been met with numerous rave reviews, including one from Parkside’s Senior Pastor Alistair Begg, “Jonathan Holmes has the enviable ability to say a great deal in a few words. Here is a wonderful primer on the nature of Biblical friendship—what it means and why it matters.”

Indeed, Jonathan lays out for his readers that deeper, more fulfilling friendships are possible when we understand that biblical friendship starts with our relationship with Jesus Christ. Through personal anecdotes and practical applications, Jonathan shows us how the status quo and our “everyday substitutes” for friendship (social media, stage of life, common interests, etc.) can prevent us from developing the types of relationships we truly desire. At the same time, he helps us see how the hallmarks of biblical friendship (constancy, candor, carefulness, and counsel) can offer the intimacy in friendship we seek.

“As a society, we’re more connected than ever, but our depression and anxiety are at epidemic levels and nobody knows why,” notes Jonathan. “You read articles and hear anecdotes and everybody is saying the same thing, but the curious thing is that nobody really knows what to do about it. That’s where the church and the gospel have an answer.”

Jonathan points to John 15:15, “God sends his Son to bring us into friendship with Him thereby making us right with God. He says, ‘No longer do I call you servants, but I’m going to call you friends.’ So every time you pursue a friend, you’re living out the gospel in a very practical way.”

Sharing the same interests, being the same age, or going through similar life experiences are often the starting point for many of us who are looking to make friends, but Jonathan suggests that these commonalities are just the scaffolding we should use to help construct our friendships and not confuse them for the actual thing. “Is it okay to have friends who have similar interests as you? Absolutely, that’s good, but if that’s all the friendship is, I think it breaks apart. Common interests, hobbies, similar life stories, etc. -- I just consider those bonuses. If [your friendship] is rooted in Christ, you realize that you always have a secure, consistent, and stable foundation that you can build on. I really do believe that your faith in Christ is enough.”

Jonathan encourages readers of his book to look at their own relationships and take a leap of faith. “My number one goal and hope would be that somebody would take a step of faith and say, ‘I need a friend and I’m going to go be that friend to somebody. I’m going to take a step of faith. I’m going to risk rejection and awkwardness for the sake of friendship because when I pursue you in friendship, I’m actually telling the story of the gospel because that’s what God in Christ does to us.’ So every time you pursue a friend, you’re living out the gospel in a very practical way.”

You can pick up your copy of “The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship” at Books by the Park. For more book recommendations to help you build your personal library, please visit our website.