This past weekend more than 100 women gathered at Atwood Lake Resort in Sherrodsville, Ohio, to share their experiences as women who come from all walks of life. In a vivid example of the practice of hospitality, retreat organizers Sue Jones, Cheryl Thompson and Premala Jones, welcomed the women of Parkside and their guests to a weekend of relaxation, laughter, and education, with a particular focus on what it means have “feminine faith in a feminist world.”
Amid a bucolic setting, blessed by mild fall weather, participants shared delicious meals, sang songs of praise in a beautiful, unified a cappella voice, learned from each other about the myriad challenges women are facing today, and relaxed during some free time by going on long hikes, playing tennis and golf, exercising in a water aerobics class, site-seeing, reading, or indulging in a much-needed nap. This year’s content-rich program featured four talks by guest speaker Carolyn McCulley, a special testimony of faith given by Theresa Durbin, and two panel discussions led by various Parkside members. On the last night of the retreat, the ladies raised the roof during a raucous game of Pictionary at the infamous Pajama Party. Sunday morning was greeted with prayer before the start of the final day of the retreat.
Men Aren’t The Problem
Do I hear a collective sigh of relief from any men reading this article? In the first session titled, Men Aren’t The Problem, this year’s guest speaker, Carolyn McCulley, a documentary filmmaker and author of two books, most recently, Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, highlighted the people and events that have helped shape the three waves of the feminist movement (women’s suffrage, women’s liberation, and today’s girl power and raunch culture ) that began almost 200 years ago.
Carolyn quickly set the tone for learning the history of feminism from a Christian point of view. Indeed, the seeds of feminism can be traced back as far as the Garden of Eden when Eve decided to challenge God’s boundaries by taking the fruit while Adam stood by passively. Carolyn explained that the feminist movement was not created in a vacuum, and while men influenced the movement, Carolyn dismissed the “us versus them” mentality noting that we all share responsibility. She also noted that there were many issues that the early feminists rightly challenged, such as a woman’s right to vote, own property, and earn an equal wage for equal work. However, she also discussed the importance of understanding how one’s worldview will influence the interpretation of a valid observation and the solutions that are thereby offered.
The Importance of Home
In her second talk, Carolyn discussed the importance of home and explained that women should emphasize the practice of hospitality and not the cult of domesticity, a point that resonated among many of the women in attendance. Who among us women hasn’t attempted to channel Martha Stewart when preparing for a party? But as one wise attendee noted, “There is a difference between entertaining and hospitality.” Indeed, as Carolyn pointed out, the practice of hospitality is how God describes the purposes for the home. Originally seen as a haven for family and guests and as a meeting place for people of the church, the home was intended to foster relationships. Juxtapose that image with today’s shock-and-awe home makeover culture and it is easy to see how a home can become a mere showroom devoid of any spiritual blessings.
Carolyn explained the differences between the quality of time spent in the “private sphere” versus the “public sphere.” Meeting a friend for coffee may be a welcome reprieve, but inviting someone into your home offers a different level of intimacy not afforded at a Starbucks. Carolyn also redefined the term “empty-nest” for women who were concerned about this next phase of their lives. Borrowing a phrase from one of her friends, Carolyn offered the term “open nest,” meaning that no matter your stage of life, there is always the opportunity to practice hospitality.
The Mommy Wars, Girl Power and the Raunch Culture
In her final two talks, Carolyn entreated attendees to join in the battle to protect our children, families and each other. Armed with facts, historical references, and cultural context, Carolyn connected the dots that have led to the Mommy Wars (pitting working moms against stay-at-home moms), the devaluation of motherhood in our culture, and the rise of the raunch culture where women believe that using explicit sexuality is empowering. When we examine the chain of events that have led to today’s current culture, it is easy to see why women struggle to understand their femininity.
An Attitude of Gratitude
With grace, humor and humility, Parkside member, Theresa Durbin shared her testimony of faith in a session titled, “An Attitude of Gratitude.” Theresa’s candid story of faith while caring for her severely handicapped husband was edifying and inspirational. As a gift to the women at the retreat, Theresa passed out beautiful, handmade thank you notecards and bookmarks to each of the women in attendance asking that the notecards be sent to someone owed a debt of gratitude. As Theresa shared her personal struggles, she advised that if we are thankful, we cannot be angry, depressed, or sad.
Over a casual boxed lunch, participants engaged with panelists about challenges particular to the workplace or home. In the “Women at Work” session, panelists discussed juggling work with raising a family, women’s enjoyment of working outside of the home, and how to sustain their faith when feeling called to work outside of the home. In the “Women at Home” session, issues included how to model positive husband/wife relationships for children, what happens when a husband starts to work from home or retires, and understanding the dynamics of hospitality and family time.
The Big Finish -- 100 Women, Pajamas, and Pictionary
What happens when you put 100 women, dressed in comfy pajamas, in a room with a game of Pictionary? Utter hilarity. On the last night of the weekend, self-appointed Pictionary master of ceremonies, Theresa Durbin led the women in the most boisterous, competitive, hilarious game of Pictionary ever played. So the readers can play at home, the image to the night was a clue that Pam Larison guessed correctly in under 5 seconds. Her skills are many and deep. (The answer is at the end of this article.)
Next Year at Geneva on the Lake
Plans have already been set in motion for next year’s retreat. Mark your calendars for November 5-7, 2010. The event will be hosted at the Lodge at Geneva on the Lake and will feature guest speaker Cindy Easley, a nationally known speaker and author, and wife of Dr. Michael Easley, president emeritus of Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.
Parting Thoughts
Women are often viewed as fragmented collection of subsets which carry such labels as working moms, stay-at-home moms, married, single, divorced, or widowed. It can be confusing to navigate one’s life through the different lenses of these labels, but by coming together to learn from, and be supported by, one other, we echo the faithfulness of Ruth who declared, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16-17)
Pictionary Answer:
Sweat.
Text and photos by Julie Hahn
